The Christian Expositor Oct 1998
Our personal example is so vital to increasing our influence that I will concentrate on it in this article. In Titus 2:7-8, Paul admonishes the young evangelist by saying, “in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility, sound speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you.” This level builds trust and represents trust-worthiness. Someone once asked Albert Schweitzer, “How do you influence children?” He responded, “Three principles: first - example, second - example third -example.”
The building of character takes effort in at least five areas or principles. One principle, that of CONTINUOUS LEARNING, becomes the discipline that drives us toward the values we believe. The physician Luke observed in Luke 2:52, “And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.” The young man Jesus grew physically, mentally, spiritually and socially. This fourfold approach provides effectiveness in our lives. If we focus on only one area, we become weak in the other dimensions. If someone were as strong as Paul Bunyan, yet had no grace, no Christ-like spirit, and no sense, we would not want to follow that person.
Another principle, SELF-RENEWAL, suggests that we work for constant improve-ment in the four dimensions of life. The physical dimension involves exercise, nutrition, and stress management. The mental, comprises reading, visualizing, planning, and writing. The spiritual facet consists of our value commitments: Bible study, meditation, and prayer. Our emotional or social arena includes service, empathy, security and co-operation. We can best deliver on our commitments when we attend to all four areas.
In Isaiah 40:31 we read, “They that hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.” Longfellow, when old, was asked how he was able to keep so vigorous and write so beautifully. Pointing to a tree clothed in blossoms, the poet relied, “That apple tree is very old, but I never saw prettier blossoms upon it than those it now bears. The tree grows a little new wood every year, and I suppose it is out of that new wood that these blossoms come. Like the apple tree, I try to grow a little new wood every year.”.
Yet another principle which can expand our influence is that of RADIATING POSITIVE ENERGY. When we stay positive and optimistic, we avoid the emotional cancers of criticizing, complaining, comparing, and condemning. Jesus, in His sermon on the mount, taught in Matthew 7:1, “Judge not, that you be not judged.” These spiritual cancers can creep in our lives unawares, and sap our energy and strength to fend off attacks of depression and boredom. Notice that the focus of each of these cancers is outside of ourselves. We blame conditions, conditioning, or others for our own lack of character. Jesus taught further in Matthew 7:3-4:
“And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye?”
A forth principle is that of BALANCE --- the ability to identify our various roles in life and spend appropriate amounts of time in those roles. This involves learning to focus on all the important dimensions of our life. Success in one area of our life cannot compensate for neglect or failure in other areas of our life. Jesus taught us in Matthew 16:26, “What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?”
Our lives cannot and must not be focused exclusively on work, friends, hobbies. family, or anything other than God. If we choose to center our lives on something else, we shall find the goal illusory and our lives totally incomplete. I’m sure we have seen people who make their work the center of their life, and failed miserably in their contribution to the other facets of life. Excellence is the real meaning of balance, and balance is the real meaning of excellence.
The last principle for building strong character we wish to examine here is that of our HOPE or SPONTANEITY. How much we admire the ability to experience life with a sense of adventure, excitement, and fresh rediscovery; instead of trying to find a serious side to things that have no serious side. We seek out the company of those people who have mastered this art. Yet, how often we allow worry to overcome us, to defeat us before we even begin to fight life’s battles. The Apostle Paul said in 2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new”! Phillip Brooks has said, “Life is always opening new and unexpected things for us.”
Recognizing that our example can sustain our relationships, consider that one of the greatest principles of working with others is that of service. The Christian has been called to give himself to others. We have the great parable taught by Jesus of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:30-37). Paul teaches in Ephesians 5:21, “Submit to one another out of the reverence for Christ.” The concept of mutual submission lies at the heart of our understanding of service. Humility as a Christian is our greatest achievement. Putting on the mind of Christ is to adopt the attitude of a servant. Through our Christian service, our light will truly be a light which cannot be hid.
A second principle involves the affirmation of others. Do we treat people as individuals who have great potential? Or do we consign them to the scrap pile after a moment’s review? Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 13:13, “And now these three remain. faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” Our responsibility is to see the potential in others, especially our children. In spite of the frustration and fatigue, we must never give up. The root word for educate means “to draw out of.” The root word for training means “to put in.” So, in these two words we have a picture of our role as parents. Rather than Lord our authority over them, we have an responsibility to put in them what God wants them to be, and to draw out of them their individual greatness. In this work, our example is the greatest teacher. If we treat others as they ought to be and could be, they will become what they ought to be and could be.
“My son, keep your father‘s commands, and do not forsake your mother‘s teachings. Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck. When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they watch over you; when you are awake, they will speak to you. For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life.”
Teaching has its optimum effect only after diligent effort of the bottom (example) and middle (relationship) levels of building a trusting relationship. As humans we accept the teaching of others best when we ask for their contribution. Otherwise, we usually are unwilling to receive even the soundest advice. Paul’s advice to Timothy includes the directive in 2 Timothy 2:2, “And the things that thou hast heard of me among many witnesses, the same commit thou to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also.”
It is so much easier to blame everything else for our own stagnant situation. But we are responsible to control our lives and to influence our circumstances by working on who we are, not on what we have. If I have a problem in a relationship, what do I really gain by continually confessing the others sin? I make myself a powerless victim. My criticism becomes worse than the conduct I want to correct.
If I really want to improve my situation, I can work on the one thing over which I have control --- myself. I can stop trying to shape up the other person and work on my own weaknesses. I can focus on being a great friend, marriage partner, or co-worker. I can be a source of unconditional love and support in Christ. Whether or not the other responds, the most positive way we can influence any situation is to work on ourselves, on being in God’s will.
We began this article by asking some of life’s more difficult questions. As we grow and mature in the Christian faith, I believe our influence will increase also. If that fruit of our life is weak or lacking, let us ask God to give us an understanding of the power of an abundant harvest.
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